Voldie Meets Sauron
by dalilanchoviesreunited
Summary: Dalilanchoviesreunited Are BAck! After being shut down for a while, Voldie Meets Sauron is back! Ever wonder what will happen when the Dark Lord of Middle Earth teams up with Lord Voldemort? Well find out in Voldie Meets Sauron! EVIL meets EVIL o.O
1. The Top Secret Plan

Authors Note: All character name used in this story are property of JK Rowling's Harry Potter books,  
  
and J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. All other names are of our own imagination, so please  
  
respect our rights and please do not copy this story without our permission because we worked really  
  
hard to write this. So we hope that you enjoy our fanfiction about Voldie and Sauron  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The Top Secret Plan  
  
At the darkest time of the night one man sleeps with the sound of pain in his  
  
dreams, Lord Voldemort or Voldie is his name. As he sleeps, the darkness of his  
  
room starts to get to him. Muwhahahahahahaha....., he pops out of bed and  
  
grabs a frying pan and a wooden spoon, and starts running down the hall , down the  
  
stairs and into the living room at lightning speed banging the pan crazily to wake up  
  
the death eaters, and screams " I'VE GOT THE BEST TOP SECRET PLAN  
  
THAT POTTY HEAD CAN'T RUIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Muwhahahaha.....  
  
*15 minutes later after laughing like a crazy maniac*  
  
All the half-awake ( this is probably how they look like hehehe.. -_o) death  
  
eaters enter the room and Wormtail pipes up and says, "So wats up Voldie??? So  
  
what's the deal with waken us all up form our precious beauty sleep at 1 o'clock in  
  
the morning????? *YAWN* Aren't you tired???" Smiling with a VERY BIG smile,  
  
Voldie replies, "Didn't I tell you guys that I have come up with a very good (sniffs the  
  
air) mmmmmmmmmm...... I smell sausages. Who made the sausages?????"  
  
Voldie looks around for an answer to his question, Lucius speaks up and then says,  
  
"Are you sure you smell any sausages because I sure don't smell any um....  
  
sausages, and plus no one made any sausages because no one had any time to do so  
  
anyways. Are you sure that you're feeling OK??? Ummm.... Are you sure  
  
you're not hallucinating??" Voldie stare straight at Lucius' wide open mouth (maybe  
  
he should close his mouth) and said, "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!! OF  
  
COURSE, I AM NOT HALLUCINATING!!!!!!!!!!!" Voldie then suddenly stood up  
  
from his big comfy black chair to curse Lucius Malfoy, but then.....  
  
Authors Randomness -  
  
Hehehehe..we were feeling evil to cut you off right here *evil grin* the second  
  
chapter is coming soooooooooooon *ding ding*. Hehe. we feel very very evil *very  
  
evil grin/smile* maybe we should postpone the second chapter. Muhahahahaha.  
  
(Hint: Your reviews, and ideas can help speed us up ^u^ ) So we hope that you all  
  
loved the first chapter. (X_X ) Sorry that we didn't put Sauron in this chapter, but  
  
he's coming CLOSER and CLOSER... o_O (Anchovie #1 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  
  
SAVE ME!!!!! Anchovie #2 - Ahhhhhh... He's got me!!!!) So hope to see ya  
  
SOON!!!!!! 


	2. Pain Beyond Pain

Authors Note: All character name used in this story are property of JK Rowling's Harry Potter books,  
  
and J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. All other names are of our own imagination, so please  
  
respect our rights and please do not copy this story without our permission because we worked really  
  
hard to write this. So we hope that you enjoy our fanfiction about Voldie and Sauron  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Pain beyond Pain  
  
"YOWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Somehow Voldie had forgotten about the frying  
  
pan in his lap and it had fallen on his big toe (pain, ohh.. That musta had hurt  
  
badly). "SOMEONE DIAL 911 GET HELP!!!! AHH!!!!!!!" screamed Bellatrix.  
  
"YOU MORONS WHAT ARE WANDS FOR?!?!?!?!?" screamed Voldie at the  
  
panicking death eaters, "And plus I'm perfectly FINE!!!!!!"  
  
*30 minutes later after having understood what he said*  
  
After all of the death eaters stopped panicking and screaming like  
  
Kindergarteners, Wormtail asked, "Are you going to tell us what you got us up for or  
  
not???" "Of course I will tell you, why did you guys, (Bellatrix glares at Voldie) a  
  
hem... and ladies, think I woke you up for??" Voldie replied painfully, "And to  
  
finish what I was saying, I got the very best plan that Potty Head can't ruin!!!" Trying  
  
to be clever and stupid all at once, Wormtail asked, "What about Dumbledore??", and  
  
then all of the death eaters all nodded in agreement to Wormtail's question. Voldie  
  
now looked as if he was about to cry, and said "Even he can not stop or interfere with  
  
my plans now!! Muhawahawaha.... (interesting laugh there, hehehe..Just  
  
how does he manage to do that?)."  
  
"So what is the top secret plan Voldie? And please don't cry in front of us  
  
(heehee)." Bellatrix said. Voldie looked at her for a while, trying to hold back all his  
  
tears, "Why *sniff* should I *sniff* tell you *sniff* I said *sniff* it was a *sniff* top  
  
secret plan *sniff* If I tell you it wouldn't *sniff* be a secret *sniff* anymore!" All  
  
the death eaters just stared at Voldie in disbelief for what he had just said, but then  
  
Bellatrix attempted to trick Voldie into telling them his top secret plan by simply  
  
saying, "But then if you don't tell us about how to get your plans in action, then how  
  
would we be able to back you up then Voldie??? You need to tell us about your all  
  
brilliant top secret plan, (Wow *smiling with an amazed awe* she knows how to suck  
  
up to him) so that we will be able to help and support you throughout the whole plan,  
  
and besides what are we DEATH EATERS for anyways." Voldie looked at her  
  
thoughtfully, then nodded and said, "Here is the top secret plan, we'll....  
  
Authors' Randomness -  
  
Muhahahahahaha........ We're being evil once more cutting you guys  
  
off right there. Well, we're terribly sorry if this one wasn't as funny as it should have  
  
been, but we will try and make the next chapter as entertaining as possible!!!  
  
Hahahaha...Now we've just gotta finish chapter 3!!!!!!!! Wah...... the deadlines we  
  
set to make u people happier, hehehe...almost done with chapter 3 though! Now u  
  
guys and *ladies* just gotta wait a chapter or two until Sauron himself finally makes  
  
his début!!!!!!!!! (Cheering, and partying at the news) So until next time  
  
*Muhahahaha...* Talk to you all later! Hope you guys and ladies enjoyed this  
  
chapter of Voldie Meets Sauron!!!! (Anchovie #1 - Reviews Reviews Reviews!!!! We  
  
want some review, and some of ur ideas so that we might make these stories more  
  
enjoyable!!! Anchovie #2 - Ah.... Stop begging them for review ur annoying  
  
them! Anchovie #1 - oh. fine .BUT STILL, I still want my reviews!!!!!!!!  
  
Anchovie #2 - GAH...!!!!!!! UR SO ANNOYING!) 


	3. The Eye

Authors Note: All character name used in this story are property of JK Rowling's Harry Potter books,  
  
and J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. All other names are of our own imagination, so please  
  
respect our rights and please do not copy this story without our permission because we worked really  
  
hard to write this. So we hope that you enjoy our fanfiction about Voldie and Sauron  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The Eye  
  
Saruman sat in his chair to relax after a long day of work, soon afterwards he  
  
started snoozing, when a sudden *POP* made him scream, "WAHHHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
(CHICKEN!!!!!) In front of him was a small red ball that looked as if it was on fire,  
  
which he decided to identify as a U.F.E. (Unidentified Flying Eye, Awwww..What  
  
a cute little nickname for a little flying eye of fire!!!!).  
  
*5 hours later after staring stupidly at the U.F.E*  
  
After staring at the U.F.E. for hm.. about 5 bloody hours, Saruman picked up  
  
a stick and poked the U.F.E. in front of him. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!" erupted the U.F.E. or  
  
red ball of something supposedly on fire in a high pitched voice. Saruman staring  
  
wide mouth opened at the U.F.E., and he realized what the U.F.E. was (drum roll  
  
Please)... It was Sauron's Mini-Me Eye!!!!!!!!! (Ohhh!!!!!!!!! Scary *shudders*,  
  
but itz so cute lookin!!)  
  
It had come to Saruman from Sauron (WOW, so confusing!!!) to bring him a message. In a small high  
  
pitched voice the Mini-Me Eye, now nicknamed U.F.E. by Saruman, told Saruman,  
  
"This is a message from SAURON THE ALL POWERFUL SORCEROR OF  
  
MIDDLE EARTH 'I've got a plan that will speed up my process for world  
  
domination, and to get that stupid ring from that pathetic, idiotic, and stupid little  
  
hobbit.'" *POOF* (Yup, would've done that too if the dumbo u were suppose to  
  
deliver a message to poke u in the eye!!! Oh wait its only got a eye!!) It had vanished  
  
into thin air (GASPS). 'What plan????' though Saruman, and then he just decided  
  
what the heck, and just went back to sleep. (What a waste of time, staring at the U.F.E  
  
for 5 hrs, u'd think that he'd have a life!!)  
  
Author Randomness -  
  
Hiyo everyone!!!!! Thankz for reading Chapter 3 of Voldie meets Sauron!! We  
  
hope that it was enjoyable and that the UFE was entertaining!! If ur wondering were  
  
the heck we got the idea of calling the Sauron's Mini-Me Eye U.F.E., well try eating a  
  
whole bunch cup noodles for a while with the name U.F.O., and then be an extremely  
  
bored person with no life, then I guess u'd probably come up with a bunch of nutty  
  
idea's too (we want MORE UFO itz so yummy!!). Sauron should be coming out soon  
  
*Taking out all the party equipment*, ohhhh.. That outta be intresting!!! So  
  
hopefully we'll see u all in Chapter 4!!!! By the way if ur wondering why we put up  
  
these absolutely space wasting dialogs, we can't really answer that question  
  
cuz..... we don't know why the heck we even do it either!!!!(Anchovie #1- I  
  
LOVE ALL U PEOPLE THAT POSTED UP REVIEWS!!!!!!!!! Anchovie #2 -  
  
hehehehe......I think ur scaring the poor people. Anchovie #1 - *blowing  
  
kisses* I LOVE U PEOPLE,......BUT I STILL WANT MORE  
  
REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anchovie #2 - Geez... Speak of obsessive!!!!  
  
Anchovie #1 - MORE REVIEWS, NEED MORE REVIEWS!!!!!! Anchovie #2  
  
uh.. u had enough obsessing????? Anchovie #1 - NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! ME  
  
WANT MORE REVIEWS!!!!!! OR ELSE NO MORE WRITING BY ME!!!!!  
  
Muhahahahahahaha...... *runs off laughing like a lunny* Anchovie #2 -  
  
ok.... that was weird. Well hope u pardon the um..odd behavior by Anchovie #1.  
  
well see u all in Chapter 4 *That is if she ever writes the blasted chapter*!!!!!) 


	4. The Dark Lord Daily

Authors Note: All character name used in this story are property of JK Rowling's Harry Potter books,  
  
and J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. All other names are of our own imagination, so please  
  
respect our rights and please do not copy this story without our permission because we worked really  
  
hard to write this. So we hope that you enjoy our fanfiction about Voldie and Sauron  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The Dark Lord Daily  
  
"Here's the plan we're gonna get some new allies*cough* to be exact  
other Dark  
  
Lords form other worlds muhahahahahah. then I'm gonna steal their power and  
  
world they want to conquer and it'll all be mine mine mine!! Muhahahaha....."  
  
answered Voldie. All the death eaters nodded and murmured in agreement, suddenly a  
  
small voice piped up from Wormtail "Ummmm... Exactly how are you going to do  
  
that?" The room then went silent (a bit too silent I think. Hehe...), and everyone  
  
began to stare at Voldie, an evil grin spread across his face.  
  
"Muhahahahahaha I told you guys *ahem* and ladies that I had a plan!!! Doesn't  
  
that tell you all something? So. OF COURSE I know what to do. I'm gonna post an  
  
ad in The Dark Lord Daily!!!!!" All the death eaters were now all thoroughly  
  
confused and they all suddenly asked."WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THE DARK  
  
LORD DAILY?!?!?!?!?!?" (hmm....that musta blown Voldie off his feet, since it  
  
was so loud) Voldie then replied after straightening up in his chair"Oh yeah hehe... I  
  
forgot to tell u guys about the Dark Lord Daily hehe... oh well anyways it's a  
  
newspaper only dark lords *evil smirk spreading upon his face* can subscribe so only  
  
other dark lord will read it.!! Hehe... and I subscribed it."  
  
The death eaters were now quite amazed with awe. "WOW, that's just amazing  
  
how there is a newspaper that only dark lord can read!!!" exclaimed Lucius. "Do you  
  
think we could possibly read it???" shouted Snape half way around the room. "Sure"  
  
replied Voldie handing over the newspaper over to the death eaters. "What the  
  
heck!?!?!?!" murmured Snape, "How to be the most EVIL Dark Lord, is this what u  
  
read to get tips on how to be brutal and evil????"  
  
Suddenly a shout rang out from Bellatrix, "So is this the stupid newspaper you  
  
read to become dark lord???? Because you sure were a lousy dark lord in the  
  
beginning, couldn't kill more than one wizard without bursting out into tears????"  
  
"WHY HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!!" shouted Voldie whose face was flushed  
  
with embarrassment and anger (his face probably looks like this *_! Hehe) at  
  
Bellatrix. "Hey it's true! I'm just telling the truth! Gees! Touchy touchy!" she replied.  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" shouted Voldie "Nothin' Nothin' Nothin'" lied Bellatrix "Really?"  
  
asked Voldie "Yeah!" she replied.  
  
"Well anyways I've written out the ad we are to post on this weeks ad on The  
  
Dark Lord Daily, and I'm about to send this darn piece of parchment out. So who'd  
  
like to lick this grape flavored envelope?" Voldie asked his Death Eaters  
  
"OOOHHHHH ME ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME ME ME ME!!!!!" all his  
  
Death Eaters shouted 'Oy!! My poor precious ears' Voldie thought. "Okay Okay  
  
Okay... QUIET DOWN ALL OF YOU NUMBSKULLS!!!!!! I shall pick at  
  
random which one of you shall lick the envelope with (drum roll plz)  
  
INE-MEANY-MINY-MOE!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Voldie at the top of his lungs.  
  
Author Randomness -  
  
We're finally back with the 4th chapter of Voldie meets Sauron!!!!!!!!!  
  
*CELEBRATING* Hehehehe.... Sorry it took us so long to finish it!!!!!!!!!  
  
Well, you see it was just dreadful, Anchovie #1 just had issue as we predicted in  
  
chapter 3 had issues writing the 4th chapter, so *sighs* well I just had to give her a  
  
few pokes and prodes *replaying past scenes of waving a butcher knife at Anchovie  
  
#1* to get her to start working a bit faster!!! By the way, THANKS FOR ALL THOSE  
  
LOVELY REVIEWS WE BOTH REALLY LOVED THEM!!!! (Anchovie #1 - Hey  
  
stop putting words in my mouth!!!!!! I thought that they didn't give us enough  
  
reviews!!!!!!! Anchovie #2 - Ah....!!!! Shush up they gave us enough reviews,  
  
and I think u scared them last time!!!!!! Anchovie #1 - Well those bloody  
  
rev.... *Anchovie #2 hits Anchovie #1 with a frying pan* Anchovie #2 -  
  
SERVES U RIGHT!!! Anchovie #1 - OY THE PAIN *starts babbling on and on about  
  
randomness*) Well we hoped that you all enjoyed this chapter of Voldie meets  
  
Sauron!!!!!!!! See you all soon!!!  
  
P.S.- Sorry about all the weird enigmas, it seem We've been having an uploading problem, and we hope to fix it soon!!!!! 


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